The Second Side

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When you stop believing in coincidence, paranoia is only a heartbeat away.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Public Service Announcement

According to Iran's Ayatolla Khameini, if you masturbate during Ramadan, it invalidates your fasting. But, what if you "shake hands with the general" but don't spunk? Then what? So says the Ayatolla:
If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a ḥarām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram intentional breaking fasting.
So, there you have it. If it "really comes out," your fast doesn't count.

Sorry, Davis.


Blogger Monkey said...

I always learn somethng here.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

What's funny is to imagine the conference the Ayatolla held with his associates to nail down this policy:

"Shouldn't do it during Ramadan."

"What if nothing comes out?"

"What kind of a masochist would do that?"

"I don't know, I'm just sayin'."

"Then they should be beheaded for stupidity."

"What if only 5ccs come out instead of 10?"

1:20 PM  
Blogger Defiantly Damned said...

Who jacks off with the intent of stopping short?

Wow, masochist is right.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Davis said...

Damn. Oh well, time to let the blisters heal, I guess...

8:32 AM  

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