The Second Side

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When you stop believing in coincidence, paranoia is only a heartbeat away.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

No More Bullstuff

  • Today, we had a phone message. After the beep, the message began with the caller in mid-sentence, meaning they were talking before the beep, which means they were talking during our recorded greeting, which means they are fucking stoopid, I guess.
  • I love October. It's my favorite month. When the leaves turn and a chill seizes the air, there's nothing I love more than to sit down with a cup of something hot and escape into a good gothic classic. There's nothing like getting lost in crumbling castles, sinister monastaries, ghosts, ghouls and vampires. I love it.
  • I just read a story about the father of the boy Madonna is trying to adopt. He is poor, without a pot to piss in (literally), and he rides his bicycle 25 miles over treacherous terrain to visit his son in the orphanage to bring him food and visit.
  • I think it's cool that Madonna wants to give this little boy a good life. I'll admit I have some skepticism about the whole affair, but what I wonder about is this: There is no reason for the boy to be separated from the father. Madonna has plenty of coin in the bank to give the father an education or a good job (or both). That's what bugs me about this whole affair. She could give them a good life and keep them together.
  • My daughter refers to Curious George as "Ceemus George." It's amusing to me that they will fearlessly attempt to pronounce anything, unaware of how their little mispronunciations entertain us. She's a good example to follow, actually.
  • A list of the most influential people who never lived.
  • I'm writing this at the University library, and I would like to say the following to the obnoxious asshole at the next table: "You are a doofus. Women don't desire you, men don't admire you, children don't want to be you. You are nothing but an inconsiderate lout, a pathetic trend-follower who will never be relevant. You will die at an old age (for asswipes like you never do us the favor of dying early) as dull as you are now. I wouldn't mind your loud manner of speaking if you would just say something interesting." There. I feel better.
  • Also while at the library, I saw two cute butts coming down the stairs . . . they were both guys. I was worried until a female ass came along and I was able to guess the correct gender. Whew.
  • I have decided that my posts will be funnier if I switch from using swear words to the goofy substitute swear words that non-cussers use. So, no more bullstuff from here on.
Bye, poopyheads.

4 Comments:

Blogger Fletcher said...

Jimmy, I admire you greatly. If I ever planned to grow-up, I'd strive to be just like you.

&

10:26 PM  
Blogger Ivy Took said...

I would comment on your answering machine message: I do this all the time, and I'm not stupid. I can't hear your message. Just something to think about.

Ivy

9:13 AM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Fletcher: You mean you want to mistake men's butts for women's butts? Well, it does take a certain self-confidence to admit sucha thing, you know.

Ivy: Not sure I understand your point. You think it might have been a deaf person calling? Do deaf people call others on the phone and just start talking in a one-sided conversation and then hang up? Heh-heh, I'm being a smart-ass, I know.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Ivy Took said...

Um, yes. When the person they call is hearing, and that's the only mode of communication they have at their fingertips.

I'm deaf, and I do it all the time... Ask Fletch.

2:24 PM  

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