The Second Side

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When you stop believing in coincidence, paranoia is only a heartbeat away.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

A Realization

It suddenly occurred to me that there are now millions of women who would rather be married to me than Tom Cruise. So there.

18 Comments:

Blogger Steph said...

You are such a stud!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Fletcher said...

The one's that you don't marry, could you give them my name?
&

10:49 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Stephanie: Admit it. You'd take me over Tommy Boy anyday. Admit it!!

Fletcher: I don't actually have a list. I'm just playing the odds that most women don't want a placenta sizzling on the grill. It ain't much of an edge over Tom, but it's a pretty significant one, I think. Works for you, too.

12:12 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

I would. Totally.

And the whole placenta grilling thing, makes me want to puke. *shudder*

11:00 AM  
Blogger Tricia said...

Oh God!
Does that mean I have to fight 'em off? Last time I had to fight for a man I broke a heel and had a Lee Press-On nail firmly embedded in my hair for a week.

Jimmy, you are a pain in my ass.

7:27 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Stephanie: Sweet! I can't wait to tell Oprah all about it. :)

Tricia: Sorry to be a pain, but don't worry. Unless they have the reddest, sexiest toenails I've ever seen, they won't be much competition.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Fletcher said...

Um... Burning the placenta would be an acceptable ritual. Prayers to the gods. But, um, is he gonna eat it?
Thats cannibalism. Shouldn't do that unless you are planewrecked in the mountains.
&

10:19 PM  
Blogger Tricia said...

Funny coincidence - I just happen to be wearing 'placenta red' toenail polish. However I am seriously considering boycotting red until I get some spandex.

Fletcher I do believe you need to tell your waiter how you want your placenta grilled.
Rare? Medium Rare?

Otherwise I hear they just burn the hell out of it.

11:48 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

I didn't send you the spandex?

12:07 AM  
Blogger Tricia said...

No you didn't.

I am not playing 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' with you anymore!
Gah!
What a tease!

12:17 AM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Well, I'd hate for the game to end.

Actually, I sent you an email. It's the address listed on your profile . . . is that your correct email?

12:27 AM  
Blogger Tricia said...

It must have gone to my 'other self'. That happens after long periods of medication.

I will look again.

Perhaps you are Spam?

12:32 AM  
Blogger Tree said...

Damn. I had a book on natural healing remedies, from the seventies. There's a chapter on natural childbirth and I swear, it makes a reference to eating the placenta. It noted that placenta is good when fried with onions.

I about died. I don't plan on giving birth ever, but if that changes, you can be sure I'll be as numb and unconscious as medical technology safely allows. And the placenta, ee-gads! I don't even want to see it.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Tricia said...

Spam and placenta - I'm getting a marketing idea here. We can sell it in little cans with roll top lids.

Sounds crazy, but look what Ted Turner did with Buffalo?

word verification: focwui
kind of rolls off the tongue

9:07 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Onions, eh? I learned that the placenta tastes like beef, and if you're going to cook it, any beef recipie should work.

If you strip away the cultural taboos, placenta is actually a very nutritious meal. It must be part of an ancient plot to make all things feminine seem "icky."

I wouldn't be surprised if Spam is already made from . . . oh, never mind.

ofbbkjim: not sure, but it has my name it it. That can't be an accident.

11:35 PM  
Blogger Tricia said...

If you say we're eating placenta at the gathering I am not coming. I want surf and turf, not gag and barf.

Next you'll be telling me it tastes like chicken.

6:27 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Tastes like beef, actually, but okay, no placenta grilling at the Gathering.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Damn. I guess I'll have to order the spleen again.......

3:27 PM  

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