The Second Side

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When you stop believing in coincidence, paranoia is only a heartbeat away.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

"Damn Near Killed 'Em"

  • I love scented candles. My current favorite is called vanilla sugar. The aroma gets me all hot and bothered. The fun thing about getting a new candle is sneaking up behind my wife and saying "Hey, smell this."
  • I was in a giant retail store, and I saw a young girl begging her mother to get her a snow cone machine. The mother resisted, and eventually said "oh, all right." The pure joy on that little girl's face made me smile. It's a good lesson for me and other parents. Sometimes, you have to say to hell with tradition and expectations and habit and say "oh, all right."
  • We had our home theater projector set up to watch a movie (Used Cars "We're blowing the shit out of high prices!"), and when we shut it off, the TV (tuned to HBO) came back on, and we were greeted to the sight of a naked woman kneeling with another woman putting her hand in a very dark place. It was a Real Sex episode about butt lovin'. There were a bunch of couples exploring themselves and each other, and one geek in a cardigan taking measurements and walking around with a magnifying glass or some shit (pardon the expression). It was hard to turn away, butt, I mean but at least I got to use the old joke "rectum? damn near killed 'em!" about fifty times. Mrs. Jimmy was appreciative, I'm sure.
  • Yesterday, I had lunch with these two beautiful toddler girls. They are my daughters, but something has happened. They sit at the table to eat. No more high chairs. They drink out of regular cups and use silverware and daintily wipe their mouths with a napkin. What happened to the helpless little twitching creatures that could fit in the crook of my arm?
  • We watched Memoirs of a Geisha finally. If you love beauty, you must see this film, preferrably on a big screen. The story is beautiful, the cinematography is beautiful, the scenery is beautiful, the people are beautiful. I loved it. A perfect movie.
  • Bumpersticker spotted on a, um, bumper: "Black on Black Love . . . It's not a crime." I don't get it.
  • I had to drive almost to hell and back to get a few simple fireworks for our daughters to enjoy. Fireworks are illegal in the People's Republic of Omaha. You'll be damned if you can find a diving board at a swimming pool, or the freedom to ride a bike without a suit of armor so you can feel the wind in your face, or the option of buying enough cold medicine for your family. I'm so glad the busybodies of the nannystate are working so hard to protect me from myself. Soon I will receive a certificate absolving me of any responsibility for myself whatsoever.

Have a great weekend.

15 Comments:

Blogger Fletcher said...

Vanilla is my favourite scent. It mixes with everything. Vanilla and musk. Mmmmmm.

"I'll be in my bunk."

The response to my question "May I help you with that?" is traditionally, "No. papa, I can do it."

I miss her.

We are from The Goverment, We are here to help you.

"I am an Epsilon..."

&

9:45 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

If it makes you feel any better, after you left on Sat., A couple of Mormon "Brothers" wanted to use: showing my kids bottle rockets so we would talk to them.

I promtly told them they were illegal and escorted them off of the property.

As they drove by they yelled...

"God Love America"!

I thought it was "Bless"?

Well, "They're from Utah"....

As if the name tags and shirt and ties in 102 degree heat didn't give that away.....

Mormons beware........:)

11:47 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Davis is not one to be trifled with.......

11:48 PM  
Blogger Fletcher said...

Davis

Please clarify: Is it Mormons or bottle rockets that are illegal in your locale?

You have no mercy, I see. Putting that preposition at the end of that sentence, all alone. :)

&

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When they are very small, we are so wrapped up in the wriggling mass in our arms. As they grow, we are continually astounded by their personhood. Some day, they'll present you with a wriggling mass of their own, and you will remember to remember.

æ

4:21 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Fletcher:

Sorry, bottle rockets are illegal here.....

Afraid To Show Your Name:

When they are very small, we try to teach them not to interrupt a family gathering by bribing them with illegal fireworks....

There's no "wrapped up" about it. It's called courtesy.

W.V. boundt....endless possibilities

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jimmy,
My abject apologies if I misunderstood your poignant appreciate for the fleeting nature of childhood, and for cluttering your space with unwarranted comments so poorly thought out. I won't repeat the crime.

Davis,
I sign everything; I have no blog, and cannot "log in".

æ

8:16 AM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Fletcher: True Renaissance men such as us know the pleasure of indulging the senses.

I'll bet she misses her papa and thinks of him often.

Davis: When bottle rockets are outlawed, only outlaws will have bottle rockets. Aren't you the one who told me whale hunting is illegal in Nebraska?

Oh, and you can holster the guns. Anonymous was speaking to a point I made in my post.

Anonymous: No need to apologize. I clearly understand the nature and intent of your comment, and it is greatly appreciated. Stop by anytime.

Memory is one of the most precious gifts we have. That's why I hate Alzheimers so much; it robs us of that ability. As long as I am able to remember, I shall always do so and welcome any reminder to do so.

verification: icefeemp . . . sounds like a Star Wars creature.

10:05 AM  
Blogger Davis said...

Apologies to Anonymous.....

I'm better now :)

12:39 PM  
Blogger Tricia said...

Davis, is that a bottlerocket in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Isn't it amazing when they start getting so grown up? Just wait til the next time you get sick and they take care of you. I'm sure you'll have the two most devoted nurses in the history of ummm... nursedom.

I think it's important that we treat our children well when they're little, after all someday they will be changing our diapers and feeding us. Oh the great circle of life.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Fletcher said...

Not me. No one is taking care of me. I'll do the decent thing and go get drunk and fall off a bridge or something.

Soon, in fact.

&

5:39 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Tricia: If that's what you want to call it...... ;)

7:04 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Tricia: Yesterday, one of my daughters saw me bark my knee on an end table and promptly ran over to kiss my owie. The future looks pretty bright.

Don't get Davis too excited or the bottle rocket will go off.

Fletcher: I'll help you eat your oatmeal when your ancient and helpless, but I'll leave diaper duty to Tricia and Tree, since you would enjoy that more, anyway.

I must admit the bridge thing sounds like a fun way to go.

1:48 PM  
Blogger endlessdirection said...

Good stuff.

8:10 AM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Why, thank you. Nice of you to stop by.

7:36 PM  

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