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When you stop believing in coincidence, paranoia is only a heartbeat away.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

I Vant Your Vote

Saying politics is a "cut-throat business," self-proclaimed vampire and satanic priest Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey—of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party—is running for governor of Minnesota.

His platform? If elected, Sharkey will:

  • Emphasize tax breaks for farmers, education and better benefits for veterans.
  • Post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.
  • Personally execute convicted murderers and child molesters by impaling them on a wooden pole on the lawn of the state capitol (he just got my vote).
Sharkey drinks blood from the neck of his wife. He doesn't hate Jesus, but considers God the Father to be his mortal enemy.

I'd love to see him debate on TV.

4 Comments:

Blogger Steph said...

This is....interesting.

If Jesse can do it, so can anybody!

2:16 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Same with Ernie Chambers.....

Oh that's right. He IS god.

According to him........

"Thatsch schum wild schtuff"

(Johnny Carson....so know one thinks I'm on crack again...)

8:50 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Jesse Ventura could bodyslam the criminal on to the post.

There's something about Ernie . . .

10:52 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

I meant "no". Not "know". sorry.

...."a diamond in the chin".....

11:38 PM  

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