Blow, Buckle and Go

Unfortunately, not as good as it sounds. Volvo is testing several new gadgets to make driving safer. The first one is a breathalyzer‚—not just for convicted drunk drivers, but everyone. Second is a high-tech seatbelt that will prevent the car from starting unless the belt is latched. Third is a smart key that can be programmed to limit the vehicle to preset speeds. Fourth is a specially designed seat that will measure the width of your ass and send a coded satellite message to the Department of Health recommending a mandatory diet . . . okay I made the last one up, but just you wait.
A Volvo spokesman, however, doubts that such oversight would be tolerated in the United States. Apparently, this spokesman has never heard of sobriety checkpoints, traffic light cameras and seatbelt laws.