The Second Side

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When you stop believing in coincidence, paranoia is only a heartbeat away.

Monday, November 21, 2005

One Day at Wal-Mart

Walking into Wal-Mart yesterday, I passed two young girls. I'm guessing they were 16, if that. As I neared the door, one of them shrieked, "Nice ass!" I looked back at them, and they giggled and said they weren't talking about me. I looked around, and the only other person nearby was an employee gathering shopping carts, the crack of his ass about six inches above the waist of his pants. Oh, you're talking about him? Ouch.
Arriving home (after asking an employee where the Chapstick was, not realizing that she was busy restocking the condom shelf), I told my wife about the girls and asked her if my ass looked good in the baggy sweatpants I wore. She said my sweats were too baggy to show off my ass.
Unconvinced, I went and stood before the bathroom mirror, and had to admit that my sweats were indeed too baggy to show off my Schwarzeneggerian can.
Looks like I'll have to dig out the spandex pants from the rock n' roll days. That'll show 'em.

5 Comments:

Blogger Steph said...

Spandex!!!

Do it. And then film yourself walking around Wal Mart.

Do it, Do it, Do it!

10:10 AM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

Actually, I do have a picture of my ass in spandex that was taken as a gag a couple of Halloweens ago at the office when I dressed as a heavy metal rocker.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Oh crap.

5:14 PM  
Blogger Davis said...

Who the hell still where's sweat pants, anymore? It's the new millenium, man.
Ha!

5:16 PM  
Blogger Jimmy said...

I wasn't aware that sweatpants went in and out of style. Apparently, sporting a plumber's butt never does. Just my luck.

11:02 PM  

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